I didn’t watch all of the Golden Globe Awards show last Sunday. I gave up when the Hollywood Foreign Press gave Martin Scorsese the Best Director award for his movie, Hugo, which is a dreadful movie, the point of which, is irretrievably lost in the diminutive director’s bushy eyebrows. Also, I am not a fan of Ricky Gervais. No, we are not related. The gene pool from which he emanated was never vacuumed for smut and scum. I think it would be wonderful if the Hollywood Foreign Press turned their attention to the political scene. There really isn’t that much difference between Hollywood and the Beltway. Both are loaded with bad actors and the entertainment value of politics often outperforms movies and television. Perhaps some of the awards it hands out can be in the following categories:
Best blunder that sunk a candidate faster than the Titanic: “Oops,” by Rick Perry.
Best performance in the longest running docudrama with an increasingly diminishing audience: Ron Paul for “Die Hard 4.”
Most forgettable roles played in a retrospective “Where are they now?” TV series: Michelle Bachmann, Tim Pawlenty, Gary Johnson, and Rick Perry
Most creative use of hair-spray since Donald Trump: Calista Gingrich.
Worst performance by an actor is a supporting role: Joe Biden
Winner of the George Hamilton Cocoa-Butter Open Sun Tan Contest: Dual awards given to John Boehner and Jon Huntsman.
Best Screenplay of a political dynasty “The Descendants”, starring all major, minor, and wannabee Kennedys.
Best performance in an unbelievable reality show: Jon Corzine “Lost.”
Worst Performance in a deeply flawed production: Eric Holder in “Fast and Furious.”
Best exit song for a Science Fiction Show: “Cry Me a River” by Cal Am water company.
The Elizabeth Taylor Stable Marriage Award to: Newt Gingrich for The third time’s a charm.
The close the barn door after the horses have bolted award: The Dodd-Frank Bill.
Best new recruiting slogan: The USMC for “pee all that you can pee.”