Democrats are too darn funny

You can’t make this stuff up, said a famous late-night television comedian. The line is perfect for this Democratic administration, in which the president’s policies have joke writers scurrying to get into the cheese line.

This really isn’t funny, but it is laughable that a president of the United States rolls over the First Amendment by trying to force secular policies on a religious institution. The president is on shaky ground here. He may be able to muster a couple of battalions of Marines, but even our fighting leathernecks have never gone up against a force as formidable as The Knights of Columbus.

Hey, but just to prove that he’s a reasonable guy, Obama is giving Catholics a year to change their 2,000-year-old beliefs. Maybe they can all join the Rev. Wright’s church in Chicago, where they can learn to see the light as our president has.

Can’t wait for the president to go on Comedy Central and tell us that priests will have to give out food stamps with communion.

The president is also providing grist for the humor mill in the area of oil.

According to U.S. Department of Energy, about 83 percent of our energy comes from fossil fuels, 9 percent from nuclear and 8 percent renewable energy.

Yes, we all want renewable energy, but it’s going to take a long time to get there. So can’t we use the energy we have while working toward green energy? Gas prices are keeping me from joining the top 1 percenters, so how am I ever going to afford to live in Pebble Beach?

Oil exporting countries must be laughing their abayas off at how stupid we are about all the energy we have at our disposal that we aren’t allowed to use. Meanwhile, Canada’s Prime Minister, Steven Harper, is in China looking for a market for his country’s oil because we don’t seem to want it. Now, that’s funny!

Here’s a real knee slapper. American’s dependence on the federal government shot up 23 percent in just two years under Obama. That is the biggest two-year jump since Jimmy Carter was president. What’s funny about this is that the increase on government dependency is, yup, George Bush’s fault.

I just don’t know how any administration can get funnier. Maybe we can all sit around and tell Eric Holder jokes.

Q: “How many ATF agents are guarding the border between the U.S. and Mexico?”

A: “None, because Eric Holder lost all their weapons.”

Q: “Why is Eric Holder the chief law enforcement officer of the United States?”

A: “Barney Fife wasn’t available.”

Q: “Why doesn’t President Obama wear any medallions around his neck?”

A. “Because he already has an albatross around his neck. The attorney general.”

The last time politics was so funny was when the Democrats nominated Michael Dukakis. Too bad Dukakis and Tina Fey don’t look alike.

Jerry Gervase is a Peninsula writer who wrote this piece as a retort to Peter Funt’s column in Thursday’s Herald.


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2 Responses to Democrats are too darn funny

  1. Deb Schulte says:

    Thanks for providing smiles this morning Jerry! Always great to get your comments!

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