THE INSIDE SCOOP ON THE OLYMPICS

How exciting the Olympics are! I wasn’t able to see the opening ceremony live but I did record it. And it was spectacular. I loved James Bond and the Queen skydiving into the arena. Yes, I know it wasn’t really the queen. Elizabeth was actually going to skydive until she learned that Prince Charles was packing her parachute.

There was lengthy segment honoring England’s National Health Care featuring dancing nurses. Most of the nurses I see dancing towards me are carrying hypodermic needles or catheters.

The threat of terrorism was a major concern of the Brit’s. The International Olympic Committee invited terrorist groups to compete figuring they wouldn’t disrupt the games if they were participating in them. The Taliban wanted to accept. But the Taliban are tough guys. It is difficult to persuade anyone to represent them in the Olympic games because they demand perfection from their athletes.  Their medal options are Gold, Silver, Bronze, and Beheading.

A tremendous spirit of camaraderie developed between the American athletes and their Chinese counterparts.  It was particularly touching when the Chinese contingent greeted the  U.S. Athletes and then checked to see that the Americans’ uniforms fit them properly. When some last minute alterations were needed they called in the Chinese Olympic Sewing Team.

China has a large contingent of athletes at the game. They had no trouble getting the government’s permission to leave China although some of the younger Chinese athletes had to get leaves of absences from Nike.

The beauty of varied television coverage is the chance to see some of the lesser viewed sports such as table tennis. It is easy to understand the Chinese dominance in this sport since it has such a long and storied history in China. The game was developed in the Ninth Century during the Ping Dynasty and perfected 200 years later during the Pong Dynasty.

I guess the International Badminton Association’s theme song isn’t “Shuttlecocks of Fire.” Some badminton teams were tanking games in order to get more favorable opponents in the next round. They were disqualified for not giving their best effort. Shoot, if best effort is the criteria our entire congress should be disqualified.

Thank goodness the Olympics are not more political than they are. Imagine if the games were run by members of our two political parties.  The Democrats would certainly eliminate the Uneven Bars. Fairness demands that all bars should start out even.  Athletes would get medals for not competing and the top 1% of gold and silver medal winners would have to give 50% of their gold and silver to bronze medal winners. Republicans, of course,  would figure that the gold and silver would trickle down to the bronze medalists.

I don’t understand why it takes the Brits to play our National Anthem the way it was written and meant to be played – upbeat, stirring, and filling us with pride. It was a far cry from the dirge-like renditions offered up at U.S. sporting events by feeble-voiced rock stars who think a National Anthem is subject to their personal interpretation.

Congratulations to Michael Phelps for becoming the all-time medal winner in Olympic history – and to his mother who clocked more air time than Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis as their movie was promoted AD Nauseum.
Citius, Altius, Fortius

 

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2 Responses to THE INSIDE SCOOP ON THE OLYMPICS

  1. Great! I always enjoy reading your columns.
    Barb

  2. Lucille Gervase says:

    Good international humor. Just what the world needs. Nice going, Cuz. Lucille

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